nameless A name can not describe it, only words.

20Aug/09Off

Greetings

I am Jayson 'Ace' Frye and this is my blog. You will only find a few things here, however each are (er, will be) in abundance. First are my writings, these writings can come as excerpts from my journal, original writings for this site, or even both combined. Next, you will find a section that is all about me -the writer- including a history, a profile, and even a publicly shared task list. Finally, on the right hand side you will find my Twitter feed, which can be a source of many different things.

I truly hope you enjoy my site. Please do not forget to subscribe to my RSS feed and to sign up at the nameless community for discussions about posts and more.

Peace and Love,
Jayson 'Ace' Frye

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25Jan/10Off

Change

My life lately has been full of choices. Some more important than others, some more mistaken than others, and some more clear than others. In recent, I have decided to pick up and go. Watch me disappear from most of the world as I am in the pursuit of a more pure peace and love.

I wish to leave you all, those who just met me and those who I have known for ages, with something from my heart, about my heart. In the past year of maintaining a journal I find this writing to be one of my sweetest unpolished pieces. Even more beauty is that it relates to what is happening. I hope you enjoy.

Preface: For the sake of context, I was told that I loved change for the sake of change, the statement struck me as totally wrong but after thinking about it I realized it maybe was correct. So, I started writing about it.

Monday, July 27, 2009 AD (Day 7383)
Loving change for the sake of change. If we resist change, we end up stuck, going nowhere. We as humans are ever changing, the ONLY STEADY THING IS GOD. Even then, or perception of him changes, so we again have change. If we do not change then we grow stale, if we do not flow then we get worn away. The changes can be ever so great or even minor. Just by learning something new it changes us. It is similar to the idea of being able to see into the future; if you do it then it changes because you know something new. The fact of the matter is that we all change whether we choose to or not, as well as the world around us. We just must accept these changes as gifts of God and work with them, not fight them. Letting God mold us how He wants us - not the world. We must use discernment to choose which changes we will accept and allow or which we may try to change back or even alter to a better choice than before.

Therefore, we should love change for the sake of change if through sound discernment it is found to be a good (Godly) change. We will grow from this change, we will be molded into something greater through God.

I want change to happen, I do love change for the sake of change - though that is not even correct... "sake - a reason for wanting something done." To love change for a reason for wanting change done, makes no sense. I love change for the sake of God. "change - to cause a transformation." I want to cause a transformation for the sake of God. To rock this world... [unwritten note: That is reference to one of my favorite passages, Acts 17:6]

It does not even have to be God, just something positive. When is change for the better ever wrong?

I will leave you with one more thing that someone said about me and why they think I am here, I love it & hope it remains true.

God speaks with you through you heart. Your heart must open and your mind must empty to become a vessel and to hear the messages from God. As your heart opens, compassion for all souls enters. You have a deep understanding for all the struggles of humanity. It is this struggle that you come to see and wish to ease.

Peace and Love,
Jayson 'Ace' Frye

1Dec/09Off

Christmas 2009 Wish List (Day 7509)

Greetings all,

I am in the Christmas spirit, and lately I have been compiling a small list of things I need or might be nice. Now, I know I am a horribly difficult person to shop for so here is a list. :-) Even better, it is categorized by what I need or believe would be  luxury. I also dropped some details about things.

  • Mirror* - A travel mirror would probably be best, I definitely do not want a huge mirror in my room but just something small and simple so I can make sure my face isn't on backwards when I walk out the door.
  • Killing Floor** - Game for PC
  • Pocket Dictionary* - the more compact and the more information the better, aim for being lightweight because I will backpack with it, I can read anything so the type can be micro.
  • Fruit Juice* - Anything works, but I like Cran-Apple or Cran-Rasberry.
  • Amp Energy Drink**
  • Backpack** - I could use a new one that really should be heavy duty and used comfortably for day trips to weekend trips regularly. (if you want to consult me before buying one - that is fine)
  • Yearly Planner* - I use monthly overviews.
  • Cigars or a Pipe & Tobacco**
  • USB Card Reader* - This really is a need, I only really use SD cards.
  • SD Cards ** - I am not sure what my camera can handle, but I really do not need that much space so 2GB cards are fine.
  • Cologne* - I wear Stetson but will use anything else, I just like smelling good.

* need
** luxury

Well, that's all folks (really!)

Peace and Love,
Jayson 'Ace' Frye

12Nov/09Off

Day 7490

I figured since it has been a while that I would update you on my life a bit, and primarily the progress of my writings here at nameless. I have been going through some intense times in my life and have not been able to really sit down to write. However, I have also been learning more and simply writing in my head. I have a fairly clear idea of how the writings will look and sound, they just are not on paper yet. There has been great progress in other places of my life, particularly in regards to getting my life in order. I undoubtedly lived a life of chaos (which it still is) but it has become much more controlled chaos and hopefully will become more subsided as I continue to take control of myself, therefore taking control of my life.

How am I taking control of myself is the most insane and sane thing to me, I am completely and totally giving myself to God. I honestly have no exact control of myself; I have no knowledge of what the next moment may bring. I can have ideas and I do believe that I can make things happen according to what I "know". However, all I know is that God is in control and I thoroughly trust Him for all things. The song "Lord, I Don't Know" by Newsboys has been often running through my head and I have built a foundation upon the chorus of the song.

Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

I truly have come to a peace beyond my understanding and doubts, even though I am amidst an ultimately disturbed world. It sounds critical saying that I am in a disturbed world, but you cannot deny that is where we are. Few, however, choose to accept it. I do accept it and because of this I am more resilient to it. The first step is acceptance, however it is said that the underlying theory that leads to this acceptance is denial. In the twelve-step program set up by Alcoholics Anonymous; the first step is: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”

I believe that the world needs to take part in a twelve-step program. It may not be for alcohol but I do know I am powerless over certain parts of my life. One in particular is the use of technology. This may seem so mild but it honestly has become a hindrance in my life. My life is still unmanageable because I use technology too much. Something few realize about the AA program is that they believe in moderation, but they encourage abstinence. I personally believe in moderation of my use of technology but I reach that balance by abstaining from it. This is something I have done in the past & it has helped. I have cut myself off from technology plenty of times and expect to do so again (and soon).

Well, this journal update is turning out much more different than I expected, but this is a peak into my life, thoughts, and more. I am sure I will be getting into more of this discussion in later writings that are full blown. My life is well, I hope you all are well too.

Peace and love
Jayson ‘Ace’ Frye

20Oct/09Off

Zombies

Preface

Upon beginning Nameless I knew I had a few topics I wanted to publish about. I even have a few in my journal I am cleaning up to publish. One day, after starting nameless, my mind went on a spree of coming up with (more) ideas of what to write on. I had come up with topics such as power, zombies, projecting thoughts, breaking limits, and knowledge to write about. My problem was I had no idea what I wanted to start with, so I went to the public and asked. In the end only one, Ryan Toney, voted that I write on zombies. Ergo, I present to you, ZOMBIES!

Introduction

I once was playing one of the Half-Life games at about two in the morning; I was completely hooked into it. With my headphones on and my bright monitor on a pitch black background - nothing else existed in my world.  By then it was probably a good three or four hours after I had begun playing, so I was drained and running on purely adrenaline. Though I do not get scared easily I love building up my nerves and scaring myself in the game, it keeps my blood rushing so I can stay up all night playing. This night however, I got an even bigger scare as my dad popped his head into my doorway. Scared the breath straight out of me, I had to have lifted myself a good foot into the air on fear alone. Though my pulse and blood pressure were already through the roof I am sure, by this point I was on the very edge of a heart attack.

Zombies

Defined

I do love a great game that hooks you in, I can sit there for hours on end completely losing track of the rest of the world. Though I came to realize I was becoming exactly what I was killing in the game. I do believe we have zombies among us today. Now, there are many ways that one may define a zombie. The word "zombie" is a locution (i.e. a word or phrase that particular people use in particular situations) that mostly follows along the same principles. The most basic principle of a zombie is an animated mindless being. There is commonly something controlling them and they are either dead or alive - but are believed to not be able to feel due to the lack of, altered, or in-experienced consciousness. Furthermore, in most cases there is a dead spirit or body or both involved. However, this is not always true, such as the case of the hypothetical philosophical zombie where an every day, living, human being is considered a zombie because they do not have any conscious experience.

The choice of zombies that I am writing about here is much along the lines of a philosophical zombie. I do not want to get into a very deep philosophical discussion here, because I want this to be basic for everyone to understand. So, for the sake of this writing I will just write out my definition of zombie for you. (To me) A zombie is an everyday living human being who is in a trance that is controlled, led, or driven by something and it is beyond their awareness that they are in this state. This trance that they are in allows them to walk through life mindlessly and without feelings.

Exemplified

Those who are stuck in front of the video games day and night, for weeks on end, allowing their bodies to become trashed and their minds to slip away - they are zombies. Their state of consciousness becomes primitive as they are full blown in a trance lead by the video game. There are even zombies that are stuck on the idea of love and giving themselves away left and right to get that love, they live in a dream world and are at a near loss of consciousness as they wander around searching for love. Zombies can be linked back to one or even many things, there are even zombies of everyday life - they just roll along doing the same things over again and may suffer of the loss of consciousness at a subconsciously level where they do not feel anything and become numb (these types are a bit more complicated than that but in this we see the basics).

Take a look at most who play World of Warcraft, most find themselves in a trance and as they continue in that trance and are led by the suggestions to keep playing, until they are sacrificing themselves for the game. The creators surely knew that, when they created goals that lead up to the ultimate accomplishment, they were subliminally suggesting that they need to keep playing. They knew that they would be able to hook people on this ongoing game, that they would catch them in that trance and then plant the little ideas until eventually they get them to sit outside stores waiting for the newest release so they can level up further. These players have become zombies.

Creation

Most people are weak minded and they are taken advantage of by the world. This exploitation allows for the creation of zombies and for the further contribution to the livelihood of them. The creation of a zombie begins when a subject worships something. Worship by definition is giving worth to something. On a deeper level, we make it valuable and begin to surrender ourselves to it because we see worth in it; we knowingly and wholeheartedly give all to one thing (we can only worship one thing at one time). As most know, we worship many things in today's culture. The most common things revolve around media- games, movies, television, or internet. We can find people that worship anything, because we can worship anything. In a state of worship we find ourselves wholly focused on something and surrendering ourselves to it.

This worship that we give is acknowledged and we then allow ourselves to be hypnotized. The induction into the state of hypnosis comes after we begin to worship something. Therefore the subject, usually subliminally, is hypnotized. Hypnosis is primarily based upon the power of suggestion and most people today are too weak minded to fight these suggestions even consciously. One primary thing that differs between worship and hypnosis is that in hypnosis we are bound by our wills and morals - we only do what our minds allow us to do. When we worship something, we can sometimes find that we are giving ourselves entirely to it. If a subject may has a strong moral against something that has been suggested to them while hypnotized they will not do it. On the contrary, if their minds are weak, these minds can be influenced, flexed, or even broken in hypnosis and upon this happening, they will do what has been suggested while hypnotized. Most people have few strong morals set in the first place and if they do then they are usually still too weak minded to uphold them. If you find someone in a stupor and can manage to hypnotize them (hypnotizing a drunk person is not easy at all), then you could easily ply them to do anything. The fine line between worship and hypnosis is not easy to see today because of weak minds.

Cure

As we can see – zombies are not aware that they are in such state. Awareness is the first step to awakening someone who is lost. Second is a change in focus and of what they worship, this also becomes prevention. I am not here to preach what on what god you should follow. (That is a topic of a different writing) However, for the sake of this writing I will say there are some gods and idols out there that people worship and still become a zombie. If you worship the "right thing" (to each his own) then you will not find yourself turned zombie rather, you in an awakened state. Some call this enlightenment, but it requires real worship. As I opened with, worship is a state of surrender - not saying words. The "worship" we see today is more expression of worship than actual worship happening in the heart. It requires all of us to worship. Sure, we see many emotions in people "worshiping". Most common is a teary-eyed individual who has realized they are not serving, or maybe even living, for a god as they see fit. This is because the words we sing can and often does make a difference. Unfortunately, those nights rarely make a lasting difference. Those who are aware can sing with meaning entirely and go out still worshiping. They have, wholly given themselves to their god(s). They live the state of worship, which in effect is the most powerful thing.

Worship is far more on a deeper level. Granted you can just acknowledge what I said, I do not want to leave you blind to the depth of it. Another part of worship is the acknowledgment of and reverence for the fact that you are making your god(s) all things in your life. You are letting a god reign in your life. You are letting your god have all governance, to give all of your will and morals, to give all of yourself at all times. To worship, you are to give all of yourself at all times.

Afterword

This writing ended up far more intense than expected, as well as time consuming. I am pleased with it and am excited to see the feedback. Though lengthy I hope you read it entirely. This has become the beginning of a doctrine I am now writing. I believe it is a great opener since it brings awareness to people. Please, I do ask that you continue to keep up with the posts here at nameless and even possibly join the nameless community. There is much more that is in progress for publishing here at nameless.

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17Oct/09Off

Introducing: nameless community

In recent, I have been wanting and working toward a place online that people can openly discuss things. More specifically, where more in depth conversations can be held about my writings. Along with this, I wanted a place where people can share their own views or writings on things. Thus, I have opened "nameless community" up for people to register and become active in.

The purpose of "nameless community" is to promote in depth individual and co-operative community discussion and sharing to create growth in everyone's belief systems.

There can be a lot of functions with this site, personally I want to see you all share what you believe and have to say about them and others. :-)

You can sign up here at http://Community.JPFrye.com
Peace and love,
Jayson 'Ace' Frye

PS: There are two posts that are finished - you will be seeing them published soon. Thank you for you patience. Along with the writings, I am 60% complete with the section all about me.

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8Oct/09Off

Day 7455

I have posted some personal entries in the past but have since pulled them down - they will be back now that I have figured out a bit of a method to my system. As my original "journal entry" post says, I did not plan to have more personal posts here at Nameless. Yet again, I ask, why not?

My Journal ~ Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 0353

I've got a lingering spec of doubt that this all is of God. Yet, I know it is. Doubt, that is what is driving my peace away, and this doubt comes from it being accepted or not as God by others. I shall quit thinking about what others think, I will go through persecution, I am a freak. I'm a Jesus Freak that has no doubt in the supernatural power of God. Fuck the world, or at least fuck what the world thinks of me. Good, I hope they think I am crazy, I am, too bad - I'm living for God & God is crazy! I do not doubt that this is God & do not care if others think otherwise, I KNOW it is through faith, hope, & love.

This was my journal entry not long ago. It answers the questions that I wrote late yesterday evening.

My Journal ~ Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 2250

What is it that is driving away my inner peace? What is this trigger, that is causing such distress?

Lately, I have been under a lot of distress and it has driven me from even being able to sleep. Most of you have seen that lately I have been talking a lot about faith, well, it is because my faith was very much shook a week or so ago. There is a post coming about that, so I will not go into detail here. I guess I wanted to publicly share this journal excerpt because it speaks intensely about what instilling doubt can do to someone's psyche. This also gives me the solution, though vulgar it is pretty explicit my solution to simply ignore what others think of me because of my beliefs. It is because of this discovery of this solution, that I truly hope that shortly I will see a turn around in my life for the better again. What this means for you readers, is you will see my publishing my writings because I may actually manage to get them finished in the write state of mind.

Stick with me, I know it is hard, even I have a hard time hanging onto myself lately.

Peace and love,
Jayson 'Ace' Frye

12Sep/09Off

Day 7429

I did not plan on sharing more personalized posts on Nameless when I started it. However, I felt I wanted to share what was on my mind so I figured - why not?

My life has been pretty crazy lately, as you all know I am working hard on writings here at Nameless. What some of you are not catching news on is that I am also working on an about me section complete with a small autobiography. Though, I have shared on Twitter that I have created and pondered on a time line of major events in my past. This is involved, as I have left this at the bottom of my "About" page's draft. I doubt that it will entirely be published because there are more personal events in there. Still, the creation of this list of events has made me come to realize that I had a very intense year in 2006. In fact, here is a small tidbit of it covering most of what happened in 2006...

February (mid) 2006: Hospitalized For Anxiety/Depression
May (mid) 2006: Graduated
June (mid) 2006: T3 Camp (pt1)
June (late) 2006: Cornfield Incident
July (early) 2006: West Virginia Mission Trip
July (mid) 2006: Lost Grandfather
July (end) - August (beginning) 2006: T3 Camp (pt2)
October (early) 2006: Car Accident

I am currently only to the point of recounting the first two events on that list, the rest is still to come. This recounting, has not been easy on me. I am burning myself out a bit, and the social situations I am dealing with is not helping any for my case right now.

Right now, here is what has been running through my mind most of the time: Lack of social life, getting this writing on zombies completed & published, being lonely - a girlfriend would be nice, recounting all the events of the most intense year of my life to date, dealing with family life - praise God it has become easier,  recovering from a significant illness, getting planned to head out to a location to find a job and eventually move out there, and among other things I am still dealing with the slow rebuilding of my computer - it is not fully up to par with what I want from it. Most of the time, I leave it here ready to restart but do not want to because I leave work up that I do not want to have to come back to and find... so my computer honestly sits here for hours asking to be restarted.

I honestly, I sit here mindlessly and end up wanting to beat myself up for it. I do need to relax, that is how I justify it, but then I feel I relax to much. Still, I find my mind has become burnt out. It still does not help I feel great but my body is not co-operating with me as if i is fully healthy, so not only is my mind burning out my body is burning out too.

I am looking to get away again for a while, it has been difficult with all the attachments and holdups here at my household. I would have honestly been out of here if it were not for having to deal with those things.

Eh, I just wanted to share that I am burning out a bit guys. I feel I am disappointing you by not getting this writing out as expected. Please do not be. :-(

Anyways, I need some rest.

Peace and love,
Jayson 'Ace' Frye

31Aug/09Off

My Beliefs

My beliefs are going to be very key in my writings and therefore I will open this up with a statement of my beliefs. I simply want you to keep an open mind and understand (at least know) my beliefs.

First & foremost, my beliefs are ever changing. I believe many things, these are only a few of them.

  • I believe in a higher power. (aka: God)
  • I believe that God is a part of everything & everything is of God.
  • I believe that we can do all things, we are simply held back by ourselves.
  • I believe the essence of all religions and beliefs is the same, that religions and beliefs stem from the interpretation of this essence.
  • I believe the essence of all there is, is God.
  • I believe that our intentions are very key in all we do.
  • I believe in life after death.

Please, share feedback. Also, please be respectful of each one another.

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22Aug/09Off

Rebirth

You are about to witness and possibly even experience the growth of something new.

I have gone through a rebirth.*

With each lesson I learn, I grow from it.

Thus, I welcome you to the growing of something new, from a point of rebirth.

Enjoy.

* The process leading up to my rebirth, I call "The Igniting: From a spark to a flame". This is my first journal book's name. I will be sharing writings from it, as well as my present journal.

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