I have some painful news to share with you all. Unfortunately, my grades are slipping. In the currently unbalanced time schedule I am on- my focus on my education has not been strong enough. I do and will continue to blame this on my mandatory (court ordered) drug treatment.
For those who are not up-to-date on all the happenings in my life, here is a synopsis. On May 11, 2011 I was arrested for possession of a schedule 1 narcotic- marijuana. Throughout the course of the summer, I spent several stressful days in court attempting to resolve the situation. On July 28, 2011 my sentencing was finalized: I was found guilty, but the judgement was deferred. The terms attached to the deferred judgement was one year probation and to go through substance abuse treatment. There were also some hefty fines.
Since the first week of September, and my second week of classes, I have been attending my required treatment. This has taken around TWELVE HOURS of my week (M/W/T 10a-1p + travel). Considering I am a full time student- I have been overwhelmed with so much going on. The stress of moving out on my own to college, having the load of being a full time student, and being forced to go through hours of drug treatment that have done me little good- is reflected in my grades.
Granted I want to bitch about all of this, I really have no grounds to do so. I know that there are people in worse situations than I am & that I can make it through this. There is an upside to all of this, thankfully.
Next Thursday is my last day of intensive outpatient treatment. This means I will no longer have to spend the long hours in a room full of alcoholics and crackheads (cannot forget the counselors either…). Though I will still be in some sort of extended treatment, that plan is yet to be determined (insurance/financial issues). I at least know, it will only be a few (three max) hours a week. I am looking forward to being on a less tightened schedule between classes and my judiciary obligations.
Second upside is that it is still early in the semester. From everything that I have heard of teacher and students alike, that even at mid-term grades if you are failing a class – you can bring yourself up to an A. Since I know that I am not even to mid-terms, and my grades are not rotten. My lowest is a 61%, second is a 72%, and since I just bombed a test – I am not sure what that class grade is. My successful class is my International Relations class, which I guess I am getting an A++ (extra credit ALREADY) in.
In light of all this, I may have some lower grades now – but I do not expect that to last.
It just sucks right now, and is not very helpful in the already stressing situation I am in. I really just need to make it through one more week of intensive treatment and things will get better. Meanwhile, my sleep deprivation this week has helped little in coping.
So, on that note – I am going to crawl into my bed now.
You know what I get when I read this. A little boy who needs to grow up and accept responisbility for his mistakes. Constantly blaming drug treatment for your bad grades? Do you blame drug treatment for other things in your life as well? Its called treatment because you, yes you, have a problem and someone is helping you fix it. We are a society with laws and you broke that. I’m sure you have rules in your life you want to follow. And if someone breaks one of your rules do you just let it slide? Or do you take action to try and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Maybe instead of foucsing on why drug treatments are bring you down you should look at how they are trying to help you. Maybe you look at other aspects of your life. Why to do you have an std? Maybe you should look at your socail realitons. Maybe you shouldn’t party so often with people and focus on school and drug treatment first. Put that ahead. Work around that. As far as I can all this could have been prevented in the first place. All of it. Take those things into consideration when writing about your life and complaining about the way things are.
Good luck with drug treatment.
Good luck with school.
Learn how to focus on the right things.
~zoe~
p.s.
sorry.. these kinds of things i’m very passionate about I don’t mean to say your a terrible person but I can’t just hide the way I feel
ahhh okay I do not think you are a terrible person… that was the point i was trying to get across (sorry)
Zoey,
I do not even know who you are. So, to say the least- if you knew how I live my life I would suspect your response would be different.
In reply to your accusations of complaining so much: please picture this for me- I juggle a few dozen eggs and find I do not like a few. Well, I decide to drop them. These blogs are kind of like those splattered eggs I leave for people to observe and respond to- maybe even help me clean up or avoid making more of a mess. I proudly can say I am conscious of my mistakes in life and have taken responsibility for them. This may be not evident here, but if you knew me: I am well matured for my age. But, you do not know me, please be careful what you say.
Further, I may be in drug treatment but I DO NOT have a problem. In fact, I went into treatment sober, have remained sober since, and intend to continue in my sobriety. Nonetheless, I did get a little bit out of the program because I am a student of psychology. I do not blame the fact I am in drug treatment for all my problems, I am aware of where I have recently made mistakes in my time management and am currently fixing those. Still, I do attribute my slipping grades as being a result of issues with my treatment.
As for the tidbit about being in a society with laws and having rules for myself or other people – I am a very proactive anarchist. I will leave it at that.
Finally, I believe received an STI because apparently that is where life wants me to be. As far as I am concerned, I did not go out and party so hard I slept around with a bunch of people. Instead, I can name off every one of the NINE TOTAL people I have had an intimate RELATIONSHIP with (including the one person since having been diagnosed with an STI).
I am not sure how old you are, but I hope someday you learn that not everything in life can be avoided- rather, the world will throw things at you that will make an impact whether you choose it or not. A simple example of that would be death.
I did not think you considered me a terrible person, I just think you were a lacking a solid basis of me to make a applicable response.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and even make a response,
Jay