I have some painful news to share with you all. Unfortunately, my grades are slipping. In the currently unbalanced time schedule I am on- my focus on my education has not been strong enough. I do and will continue to blame this on my mandatory (court ordered) drug treatment.

For those who are not up-to-date on all the happenings in my life, here is a synopsis. On May 11, 2011 I was arrested for possession of a schedule 1 narcotic- marijuana. Throughout the course of the summer, I spent several stressful days in court attempting to resolve the situation. On July 28, 2011 my sentencing was finalized: I was found guilty, but the judgement was deferred. The terms attached to the deferred judgement was one year probation and to go through substance abuse treatment. There were also some hefty fines.

Since the first week of September, and my second week of classes, I have been attending my required treatment. This has taken around TWELVE HOURS of my week (M/W/T 10a-1p + travel). Considering I am a full time student- I have been overwhelmed with so much going on. The stress of moving out on my own to college, having the load of being a full time student, and being forced to go through hours of drug treatment that have done me little good- is reflected in my grades.

Granted I want to bitch about all of this, I really have no grounds to do so. I know that there are people in worse situations than I am & that I can make it through this. There is an upside to all of this, thankfully.

Next Thursday is my last day of intensive outpatient treatment. This means I will no longer have to spend the long hours in a room full of alcoholics and crackheads (cannot forget the counselors either…). Though I will still be in some sort of extended treatment, that plan is yet to be determined (insurance/financial issues). I at least know, it will only be a few (three max) hours a week. I am looking forward to being on a less tightened schedule between classes and my judiciary obligations.

Second upside is that it is still early in the semester. From everything that I have heard of teacher and students alike, that even at mid-term grades if you are failing a class – you can bring yourself up to an A. Since I know that I am not even to mid-terms, and my grades are not rotten. My lowest is a 61%, second is a 72%, and since I just bombed a test – I am not sure what that class grade is. My successful class is my International Relations class, which I guess I am getting an A++ (extra credit ALREADY) in.

In light of all this, I may have some lower grades now – but I do not expect that to last.

It just sucks right now, and is not very helpful in the already stressing situation I am in. I really just need to make it through one more week of intensive treatment and things will get better. Meanwhile, my sleep deprivation this week has helped little in coping.

So, on that note – I am going to crawl into my bed now.